Welcome to "Backward Land!" Hey, watch out, try using your back eyes and watch where you are going. Excuse me, that fellow just backed into me, boy, you would think 4 eyes are enough! Oh! My aching feet! Wait a second while I put my shoes on the right way. Imagine; I actually put my left shoe on my left foot and my right shoe on my right foot!! There, that's better. Did you say that you are from "The Right Way" land? You did. Well, did you know that here in Backward Land, people walk in first and then knock!!! You have to go now? Okay, Good Bye; come again, and don't forget, walk in, then knock.
Notes: The B, c, and L are written backwards in the original - the look is pretty odd. I like the escalating number of exclamation points, and how easily I slipped into this kind of dramatic monologue voice.